Why do you allow fear to keep robbing you?

Hello there!

Here I am again, blogging.

Please allow me to rant today. I have a real problem with how fear can rob us of what we deserve. It causes us to regret what we never did and helps us to come up with one thousand reasons why we shouldn’t do something. I absolutely hate it.

I’m taking a stand against fear. The kind of fear that holds us back and robs us of what is ours.

Although we can’t change the past and some opportunities have passed us by, we can change our attitudes about fear today.

Last month I underwent an oral exam where I was being tested on my knowledge of the law, my advocacy skills, my ability to retain large amounts of information and my ability to think on my feet when under pressure. It was not easy at all. In fact, when first informed by my high achieving boss that she believed I was ready to take this exam just months into my training contract I really didn’t think I could do it. Fear took over.

At this point all I could think about was the fear of failing and felt it was too early to do the exam. I started to think that I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, polished enough. Do you see that – fear was trying to rob me of my confidence in my ability.

As time went on I started to get stress headaches, started panicking and even considered postponing the exam because I was so fearful of failing and looking like a fool.

This was getting ridiculous and I couldn’t take the pressure so I made a deal with myself. I said, “ok Crystal, let’s focus on what’s important here- doing your best. You’re an advocate, you’ve read all you can read and done all you can do. Just do the exam and expect a pass.” I was essentially ignoring fear.

Just when I thought everything was fine, fear decided to pay me another visit. When I arrived at the examination destination early I was asked to wait and was told I’d be collected from the seating area in a few minutes to read a case study. I waited and waited and waited and wasn’t given my case study. I went to investigate and was given the case study and began reading it.

A few minutes later I was approached by an examiner asking me to go in for the oral exam. But I hadn’t finished reading the case study because I wasn’t given my case study on time. There was no way I could do my oral exam without reading the whole case study! Boy, was I feeling the pressure now.

I boldly explained what had happened to the examiner and hoped I’d be given the extra time. I was given a little more time thank The Lord! Then another spanner was thrown into the works, I had to do a multiple choice questionnaire too, whilst remembering the facts of the case study I had to rush through. It was crazy.

Somehow, I managed to keep my cool and get through all of the differing parts of the exam.

Two weeks later, I received a call confirming I had passed!!!!!!

I learned a very valuable lesson. Had fear had its way I would have messed up and delayed my progress. I had to face the fear and do it anyway.

I learned that you can do a lot more than you think you are capable of and fear does its best to rob you of what is rightfully yours. I’m now a fully qualified advocate in my field and have gained an understanding of just how much I can handle.

Next time I’m faced with a frightening situation which is getting in the way of my progress I will remember this experience and press on. Fear, I won’t let you rob me!

Until next time.

Crystal Debrah
http://www.crystaldebrah.co.uk

If you found this blog post useful, share it with others and feel free to share your personal experiences below.

De-clutter your life and enjoy it

Hello,

Here I am again blogging!

We live in a world where success is like a drug. We crave it, we chase it and some will do almost anything to get it.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be successful but at what cost?

I met with a client recently and the topic of “work life balance” came up. He was telling me a story about a friend of his who was “successful”. He was great at his job, had a great house and a number of top of the range cars. He had what lots of people dream of. However he worked day and night for this success without rest and eventually had a heart attack. He is still alive but his quality of life is much reduced. My client had learned a very valuable lesson from his dear friend – rest is vital.

This story made me start thinking about my approach to life and my obsession with achieving. Could I potentially work myself into ill health? While we’re on the topic what about you? Do you work really hard? I’m not only talking about your occupation. Are you always running around going from one activity to the next? Helping your sister’s husband’s cousin with a problem because you feel obliged? Serving in 10 teams at church?

If your life is over-cluttered then maybe you’re in the same boat as my client’s friend and need to simplify your life, relax and enjoy it more.

After examining my own life I realised that I needed to scale back and make time to take care of me. Here are some suggestions made by my client, a good friend of mine and some good ol’ research done by yours truly:

– make a list of everything you do and work out what is important and what is not. Scale back or stop doing the not so important stuff. I found I was on Facebook very often and this took up a lot of my time. I deactivated my account for some time to restructure my life.

– come up with a way to treat yourself every month. This gives you something to look forward to. It has the added benefit of helping you to de-stress. A good friend of mine taught me this and it works a treat.

– Be active but not always in the same way. I used to force myself to go to the gym week in week out and I got bored. My client suggested that I do different activities, for example skip on one day, run on another, play a sport the next. I’m yet to try this but I’m open to trying it.

– Switch your phone off when you’re having “you time”. Our phones are constantly ringing, bleeping and distracting us.

– Learn to say “no”. I’m all for going out and helping on other peoples’ projects but sometimes it gets too much. Help out where you can but when you do not have the capacity, just say “no”. Remember, rest is vital.

This is not an exhaustive list of ways to rest and switch off, just a few. It would be great to hear if any of the above has helped you. It would also be great if you could share ways you relax by leaving a comment below.

Until next time.

Crystal Debrah
Www.crystaldebrah.co.uk