High Achiever Syndrome

Hello,

Here I am again, blogging.

Although I write daily in my private journal, I am struggling to write this post because it’s personal and in some ways painful to relive. I’m of the view that you should benefit from your pain and help others too – that’s why I’m writing this post.

Back in 2016, I appeared to be successful. I had achieved so much before the age of 28 by becoming a solicitor advocate, authoring a book and winning awards for entrepreneurship. I’m proud of my achievements but looking back I was too serious, too focused and too imbalanced. I worked very hard and was riddled with stress. I couldn’t go on like this.

I had to do an analysis of my life and start making changes. I had to. My mental health was at stake.

I carved out a weekend from my busy schedule and listed what wasn’t working for me. It was a very difficult exercise because I didn’t feel I had the energy to face whatever I was about to discover.

The results of my analysis were:

  1. I wanted to be liked.
  2. I suppressed the explorer in me.
  3. I lived to please others.
  4. I placed my value in my achievements.
  5. I didn’t respect myself.
  6. I didn’t believe in myself.
  7. I was a perfectionist.
  8. I was scared of success.
  9. I compared myself to others.
  10. I was wounded and refused to love.

Over the next couple of months I’ll take you through how I dealt with each issue over the past 18 months. I hope this helps someone.

Until next time.

Crystal Debrah

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The Ultimate Bucket List

Hello

Here I am again blogging!!!

With every blog post I publish, I aim to challenge you to take a moment to think about things a little deeper.

This blog post is no different.

This blog is about bucket lists.

bucket list

Bucket lists contain things you wish to achieve before you die. Sorry for sounding morbid, but sooner or later, we will all die so it’s important to live your life to the full…

If you haven’t already, I encourage you to create a bucket list. They are great because they allow you to dream crazy dreams and give you something to look forward to as you grow older. I have seen a lot of adventurous bucket lists out there which consist of things like:

  • scuba dive the great barrier reef

  • go bungee jumping
  • become a millionaire by the time I’m 30
  • solve a rubix- cube
  • meet Mike Tyson!

 

I think these things are exciting because they make us feel alive. However, I have noticed that a lot of bucket lists are about making ourselves feel good.

There is nothing wrong with this at all, however, I have a suggestion to make.

Can I invite you to write an additional bucket list? One that benefits others?

For example, before I die I would like to:

  • fund a child’s education
  • invite lonely people to my home
  • randomly pay for someone’s food shopping at the supermarket
  • take someone on a shopping spree
  • make time for an older family member

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Think about it. Some of the most inspirational people in history are those who make the wellbeing of others a priority. I encourage you today to start putting a list together and to start working on it straight away.

If you feel comfortable, please leave a comment below listing one thing you would add to your new bucket list.

Until next time.

Crystal Debrah 

What happened to us?

Hello!

So here I am again blogging!!!

I find life fascinating. I think it’s incredible how we start off as a bunch of little cells inside the womb of a woman and then develop into a fully grown human being.

embryo cells

As babies we’re new to the world and described as being “full of potential”. As kids we are optimistic, inquisitive and daring. We believe we can be anything and do anything. We constantly fall down on the playground floor and despite the pain of a grazed knee we get back up again and keep on playing.

new born baby

So what on earth happens to us when we grow up? We’re afraid of trying things, of falling, of the unknown. What happens along the way?

Well I reckon it’s what we’re TOLD. We’re told to be careful by our loving parents when we leave the house; we’re told by some of our teachers that we need to “improve on our weaknesses;” we’re told by our ex- partners that they no longer want us for one reason or another. Bit by bit that optimism, daringness and inquisitiveness we once had as a child quiets as we allow the words of people to shape our lives. Words of caution, of inadequacy, of worthlessness.

being told off 2

We then begin to crave security and look for what is safe. Think about it. We generally choose careers that give us security and a monthly wage; some of us settle for incompatible partners because of the fear of being alone; gosh some of us have had the same image for YEARS because it’s comfortable! What has happened to us?!!!

I don’t think it’s too late for us. I think we all still have that inner child that’s screaming to come out! From my inner child to yours, “come out and play!”

Until next time.

Crystal Debrah

What They Don’t Tell You about University Conference 2014

On September 4th 2014, What They Don’t Tell You about University 2014 took place at the prestigious Mayor of London’s Office.

The event is aimed at new uni students to help them get the most out of their university experience as well as giving them the opportunity to ask questions. The event comprised of information on student finance, a Q & A session, an entertaining drama group, an alternatives to uni session and more.

We had a great time.

Enjoy the pictures!

Print                                                    Held at the Mayor of London’s Office

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Here is what our participants had to say:

“I learned more about student finance and university as a whole”

“I would recommend this to other students because it’s good advice before going to university”

“Fun, interactive and easy to understand”

“It was good and everyone was really nice”

“There needs to be more things like this- it provides guidance for young people”

photo

Until next time.

Crystal Debrah

http://www.crystaldebrah.co.uk

The Eye Opener

Wake up, get ready, run out of the house, travel to get to work, get there and work work work, eat at desk, work work work, stay late to work some more, travel to get home, cook and eat, shower, bed. Wake up and it all starts again.

This person’s schedule looks horrible. They have no life, and are probably very miserable. But this is reality for so many people.

What about that thing you always wanted to be as a child? What about that thing you started but never had the time to finish? What about your loved ones? Will this still be your life 10 years from now?

Until next time.

Crystal Debrah
Www.crystaldebrah.co.uk

Us

Hello,

Here I am again blogging!

Last night I watched an interesting film called “Surrogates”. It’s not about pregnant women but about the possible impact that technology could have on us as human beings.

Let me explain.

In the film, humans were able to pick out a surrogate body who would do everything for them. Each human being would lie down on a bed-like seat and attach some electrodes to their body which would enable them to control their surrogate. The purpose of having a surrogate was to keep people safe. People got so used to using these surrogates that they used them to go to work and even to go to parties.

It got to the point where real people were no longer interacting with each other on a human level.

Have a look at this trailer to see how the surrogate technology was used. Click on the word “trailer” below, watch it, then come back and read about what I learned from the film.

Trailer

This is what got from the film…

One story in particular that touched me was about a man and wife who had lost their child in a car accident in the real world and did not talk about it. Each of them was suffering in silence and when the man tried to reach out to his wife in human form, the wife refused to do the same and continued to suffer in silence. In reality she was very depressed and resorted to taking pills to stay sane- she was a wreck. Her husband had absolutely no idea as he had not seen her in human form for a long time.

Just imagine how many people are on social media sites pretending to be as happy as Larry but dying inside?

This new surrogate technology robbed people of the amazing gift of human interaction, togetherness and love.

We were not created to live alone. Even Jesus himself had disciples and enjoyed human interaction. This demonstrates how important we are to each other.

I urge you, after reading this blog post go and have a real human interaction. Hug someone, tell someone dear that you love them, smile at someone on your train/bus.

Until next time.

Crystal Debrah
Www.crystaldebrah.co.uk