High Achiever Syndrome


Here I am again, blogging.

Although I write daily in my private journal, I am struggling to write this post because it’s personal and in some ways painful to relive. I’m of the view that you should benefit from your pain and help others too – that’s why I’m writing this post.

Back in 2016, I appeared to be successful. I had achieved so much before the age of 28 by becoming a solicitor advocate, authoring a book and winning awards for entrepreneurship. I’m proud of my achievements but looking back I was too serious, too focused and too imbalanced. I worked very hard and was riddled with stress. I couldn’t go on like this.

I had to do an analysis of my life and start making changes. I had to. My mental health was at stake.

I carved out a weekend from my busy schedule and listed what wasn’t working for me. It was a very difficult exercise because I didn’t feel I had the energy to face whatever I was about to discover.

The results of my analysis were:

  1. I wanted to be liked.
  2. I suppressed the explorer in me.
  3. I lived to please others.
  4. I placed my value in my achievements.
  5. I didn’t respect myself.
  6. I didn’t believe in myself.
  7. I was a perfectionist.
  8. I was scared of success.
  9. I compared myself to others.
  10. I was wounded and refused to love.

Over the next couple of months I’ll take you through how I dealt with each issue over the past 18 months. I hope this helps someone.

Until next time.

Crystal Debrah


What happened to us?


So here I am again blogging!!!

I find life fascinating. I think it’s incredible how we start off as a bunch of little cells inside the womb of a woman and then develop into a fully grown human being.

embryo cells

As babies we’re new to the world and described as being “full of potential”. As kids we are optimistic, inquisitive and daring. We believe we can be anything and do anything. We constantly fall down on the playground floor and despite the pain of a grazed knee we get back up again and keep on playing.

new born baby

So what on earth happens to us when we grow up? We’re afraid of trying things, of falling, of the unknown. What happens along the way?

Well I reckon it’s what we’re TOLD. We’re told to be careful by our loving parents when we leave the house; we’re told by some of our teachers that we need to “improve on our weaknesses;” we’re told by our ex- partners that they no longer want us for one reason or another. Bit by bit that optimism, daringness and inquisitiveness we once had as a child quiets as we allow the words of people to shape our lives. Words of caution, of inadequacy, of worthlessness.

being told off 2

We then begin to crave security and look for what is safe. Think about it. We generally choose careers that give us security and a monthly wage; some of us settle for incompatible partners because of the fear of being alone; gosh some of us have had the same image for YEARS because it’s comfortable! What has happened to us?!!!

I don’t think it’s too late for us. I think we all still have that inner child that’s screaming to come out! From my inner child to yours, “come out and play!”

Until next time.

Crystal Debrah

What They Don’t Tell You about University Conference 2014

On September 4th 2014, What They Don’t Tell You about University 2014 took place at the prestigious Mayor of London’s Office.

The event is aimed at new uni students to help them get the most out of their university experience as well as giving them the opportunity to ask questions. The event comprised of information on student finance, a Q & A session, an entertaining drama group, an alternatives to uni session and more.

We had a great time.

Enjoy the pictures!

Print                                                    Held at the Mayor of London’s Office

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Here is what our participants had to say:

“I learned more about student finance and university as a whole”

“I would recommend this to other students because it’s good advice before going to university”

“Fun, interactive and easy to understand”

“It was good and everyone was really nice”

“There needs to be more things like this- it provides guidance for young people”


Until next time.

Crystal Debrah


The Eye Opener

Wake up, get ready, run out of the house, travel to get to work, get there and work work work, eat at desk, work work work, stay late to work some more, travel to get home, cook and eat, shower, bed. Wake up and it all starts again.

This person’s schedule looks horrible. They have no life, and are probably very miserable. But this is reality for so many people.

What about that thing you always wanted to be as a child? What about that thing you started but never had the time to finish? What about your loved ones? Will this still be your life 10 years from now?

Until next time.

Crystal Debrah



Here I am again blogging!

Last night I watched an interesting film called “Surrogates”. It’s not about pregnant women but about the possible impact that technology could have on us as human beings.

Let me explain.

In the film, humans were able to pick out a surrogate body who would do everything for them. Each human being would lie down on a bed-like seat and attach some electrodes to their body which would enable them to control their surrogate. The purpose of having a surrogate was to keep people safe. People got so used to using these surrogates that they used them to go to work and even to go to parties.

It got to the point where real people were no longer interacting with each other on a human level.

Have a look at this trailer to see how the surrogate technology was used. Click on the word “trailer” below, watch it, then come back and read about what I learned from the film.


This is what got from the film…

One story in particular that touched me was about a man and wife who had lost their child in a car accident in the real world and did not talk about it. Each of them was suffering in silence and when the man tried to reach out to his wife in human form, the wife refused to do the same and continued to suffer in silence. In reality she was very depressed and resorted to taking pills to stay sane- she was a wreck. Her husband had absolutely no idea as he had not seen her in human form for a long time.

Just imagine how many people are on social media sites pretending to be as happy as Larry but dying inside?

This new surrogate technology robbed people of the amazing gift of human interaction, togetherness and love.

We were not created to live alone. Even Jesus himself had disciples and enjoyed human interaction. This demonstrates how important we are to each other.

I urge you, after reading this blog post go and have a real human interaction. Hug someone, tell someone dear that you love them, smile at someone on your train/bus.

Until next time.

Crystal Debrah

Why do you allow fear to keep robbing you?

Hello there!

Here I am again, blogging.

Please allow me to rant today. I have a real problem with how fear can rob us of what we deserve. It causes us to regret what we never did and helps us to come up with one thousand reasons why we shouldn’t do something. I absolutely hate it.

I’m taking a stand against fear. The kind of fear that holds us back and robs us of what is ours.

Although we can’t change the past and some opportunities have passed us by, we can change our attitudes about fear today.

Last month I underwent an oral exam where I was being tested on my knowledge of the law, my advocacy skills, my ability to retain large amounts of information and my ability to think on my feet when under pressure. It was not easy at all. In fact, when first informed by my high achieving boss that she believed I was ready to take this exam just months into my training contract I really didn’t think I could do it. Fear took over.

At this point all I could think about was the fear of failing and felt it was too early to do the exam. I started to think that I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, polished enough. Do you see that – fear was trying to rob me of my confidence in my ability.

As time went on I started to get stress headaches, started panicking and even considered postponing the exam because I was so fearful of failing and looking like a fool.

This was getting ridiculous and I couldn’t take the pressure so I made a deal with myself. I said, “ok Crystal, let’s focus on what’s important here- doing your best. You’re an advocate, you’ve read all you can read and done all you can do. Just do the exam and expect a pass.” I was essentially ignoring fear.

Just when I thought everything was fine, fear decided to pay me another visit. When I arrived at the examination destination early I was asked to wait and was told I’d be collected from the seating area in a few minutes to read a case study. I waited and waited and waited and wasn’t given my case study. I went to investigate and was given the case study and began reading it.

A few minutes later I was approached by an examiner asking me to go in for the oral exam. But I hadn’t finished reading the case study because I wasn’t given my case study on time. There was no way I could do my oral exam without reading the whole case study! Boy, was I feeling the pressure now.

I boldly explained what had happened to the examiner and hoped I’d be given the extra time. I was given a little more time thank The Lord! Then another spanner was thrown into the works, I had to do a multiple choice questionnaire too, whilst remembering the facts of the case study I had to rush through. It was crazy.

Somehow, I managed to keep my cool and get through all of the differing parts of the exam.

Two weeks later, I received a call confirming I had passed!!!!!!

I learned a very valuable lesson. Had fear had its way I would have messed up and delayed my progress. I had to face the fear and do it anyway.

I learned that you can do a lot more than you think you are capable of and fear does its best to rob you of what is rightfully yours. I’m now a fully qualified advocate in my field and have gained an understanding of just how much I can handle.

Next time I’m faced with a frightening situation which is getting in the way of my progress I will remember this experience and press on. Fear, I won’t let you rob me!

Until next time.

Crystal Debrah

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